I hate all girls vehemently.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
