Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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