I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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