Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
