on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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