I must be too annoying 4 u.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
