Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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