24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
