Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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