as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
