Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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