Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
