halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
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Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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