This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
