I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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