Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize