thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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