I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
