Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
