I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
