So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
