Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
send nudes
from the living room?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
