I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Dignity is for republicans.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
