Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize