cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
