I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
