I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
