i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
