"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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