I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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