You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
