Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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