Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
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She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
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I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just need some of your time and all of your body.