dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
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Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.