Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
