I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
