real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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