Grow some girl-balls and come out already
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She bit a glass in half.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I have feelings that need drinking.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
