Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
