Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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