Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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