Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
