so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
