is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
