Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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