Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Randomize
