I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
