do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
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How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
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If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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