If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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