she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
