Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My vagina just recognized that song.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
