South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
