you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
