I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
