If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
