But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
