Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext me about skeletons
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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