I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Randomize
