did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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