lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
