There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
