You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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