I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
