lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
