get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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